The Makings of an Insane Person

I saw a movie preview recently that said that being in love is the socially acceptable way to walk around as an insane person. I can really relate to this quote because its seems that this has happened to me. I have now entered a relationship that has effortlessly transitioned me into insanity, and I couldn't be happier about it. There are of course some downsides to being insane, and well, I've complied a list.

1. You spend endless hours with ONE person. Sometimes I can barely stand to be around myself let alone another person. This means that after you express your dumb thoughts and jokes, they not only don’t judge you, they find it endearing. Trust me as an outsider your fart jokes are not funny but the crazy person in love with you thinks they are.
2. The light of day is just a mere suggestion to go outside but not a requirement. Seriously, daylight is no longer an obligatory indulgence its more like, “we haven’t left the bed in 5 hours and my limbs are going numb. Maybe we should leave the house because our bodies need to absorb vitamin D.”
3. You eat an insane amount. Seriously, why does so much of being in a relationship revolve around food. If we are staring into each others eyes, lets clearly do it over food. The smell of burgers somehow makes our relationship more stable.
4. You start to get anxious when you are not together. You don’t even remember what its like to do things alone anymore. This means you have developed a full on psychological addiction, and must be weaned off of each other with medication or alcohol. This is why when you do go out with friends, this outing revolves around getting obliterated. People have been solving these issues for years with booze.
5. You picture your future 5 years in advance. Meanwhile, you struggle to stay in the same job or even the same apartment year to year. You can’t even pay your future bills. But surely all the stars will align and you two will stay together long enough to buy a house you can’t afford with kids you don’t really want. Not to mention you want all this despite saying otherwise during your single days. Basically you suffer from major memory lapses of your former self.
6.  Speaking of losing your former self, you have also forgotten how to speak like your former self. All of sudden your personal vocabulary has been hijacked to sound more and more like that little kid across the hall. Your voice goes down an octave or two into baby talk whereby you call each other ridiculous names like boo boo and care bear. You even start to care about things you never cared about before. Your boyfriend is a history buff and suddenly you can name every president of the last 100 years. Yes civil war documentaries really are thrilling all of a sudden. And he knows way too much about beauty products. He even starts to use your fancy products and likes it.
7. Probably the most fun part about being insane is all the crazy amount of sex you’re having. Did you know you could have sex 8 times in a single day? I didn’t know that either, and I still don’t know but I feel like I’m working up to finding out. Your body has been stretched to limits so much that you weren’t even aware that those muscles existed. Then you get up and try it all over again. This, of course is temporary, and your future lack of sex will be on the list of why being in a relationship sucks.

Yes being insane has its positives and negatives. But deep into my honeymoon period I’m swimming in sunshine and rainbows. So I guess I’m not entirely opposed to being insane.